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Clubs, Drugs and Canapés

One man, 5,000 parties by Nick Valentine

This book is published, but you can still pledge for rewards!

  • http://unbound.co.uk/books/clubs-drugs-and-canapes
Clubs, Drugs and Canapés cover

The Synopsis

PLEASE NOTE: Clubs, Drugs & Canapés is in production so your name can not be listed in the back of the book. However, you can pre-order a copy of the special Unbound Limited edition that will not be available in the shops.

Armed with a bottle of Milk Thistle and unshakeable optimism, Nick Valentine has spent most of his adult life in fifth gear, betting on a Royal flush while covertly holding a pair of deuces.

Clubs, Drugs and Canapés traces Nick’s story; just a suburban bloke who has blagged, lucked and laughed his way into just about every party, club, stage and hot-tub imaginable.

Introduced to the world of celebrity at a young and impressionable age when Steve Currie, bass player with the legendary T. Rex, moved into Nick’s family home, Nick was star-struck and knew he, too, belonged on stage. No matter he couldn’t see (glasses not being very punk) and made Sid Vicious sound like a virtuoso: he made his musical debut two weeks later, one day after leaving school.

Following a gap weekend, Nick then sailed through his teenage years and twenties as a film technician, trainee surveyor, paste-up artist, journalist, publicist, club promoter, musician and DJ until he eventually banked in the shallows of party central.

The following 15 years spent as a social editor on London’s over-heated celebrity/canapé circuit (while co-founding the Entertainment News press agency), saw him play social hopscotch with liggers, lords and luvvies and single-handedly keep the Royal Mail in business, all the while viewing every invite as a temporary visa into impolite society.

An enterprising period acting as a social PR for the super-rich facilitated another career change for Nick and resulted in this self confessed dilettante co-founding three London nightclubs in quick succession, including the much lauded celebrity home from home, The Cuckoo Club. With the West End as his nocturnal playground, he then bid sleep a final fond farewell.

Nick professes to have attended well over 5,000 parties in his time, drunk enough champagne to test the Thames barrier and occasionally made it home in time for Countdown. 'I’m a night person,' he says. 'The trouble is I’m a morning and afternoon person as well.'

This account is a surprisingly touching, light-hearted look at the daily mechanics of enjoying life to the max and then some. If Adrian Mole and Janis Joplin had a bastard lovechild, his name might very well be Nick Valentine.

  • Nick Valentine, the indefatigable prince of the London party scene.
    Roger Taylor - Rock Royalty
  • Top bloke, crap DJ.
    Nicky Holloway - DJ/Producer
  • Nick has seen more dawns around the world than even the most dedicated of blackbirds. For the past 30 years he’s been a constant and ever welcome presence on the nocturnal scene. He is still at it. Christ only knows how.
    Tom Parker Bowles - Journalist/Author
  • Nick’s watch has always been set 15 minutes ahead of everyone else in London nightlife. It means he usually sees things first but inevitably gets home last.
    Nick Rhodes - Pop Polymath
  • Nick Valentine is one naughty geezer!
    Danny Dyer – Actor/Presenter
  • I always knew Nicky would do well for himself. When he was six he picked his nose with impressive enthusiasm.
    Julian Clary – Comedian/Author
  • Nick’s living proof that you can survive on a diet of champagne, canapés and one hour’s sleep a night.
    Mark Hix - Celebrity Chef/Restaurateur
  • Nick Valentine is a very funny guy.
    Grandmaster Flash - Hip Hop Hero
  • Valentine’s spirit imbues his world with fun and glamour. He has seen everything and learned everything...and, unlike the Bourbon Kings, he has forgotten nothing.
    Nicky Haslam - Interior Designer/Author
  • The man, the legend, the hangover.
    Guy Chambers - Songwriter/Producer
  • Nick Valentine is the spirit of the night.
    Mark Armstrong - Founder, The London Club and Bar Awards
  • If Nick had been about in Hollywood in the 30s he’d have a street named after him by now.
    Chris Sullivan - Soho Wordsmith
  • The Host with the most.
    Meg Mathews - Interior Designer
  • Valentine is the maverick of the London club scene and the sooner they let him out the better.
    Hugh Cornwell - Punk Icon
  • When it comes to glamorous parties I’ve seen Nick out more times than I’ve seen myself.
    Tara Palmer Tomkinson - Socialite/Author
  • Looking at Nick I don’t know if he’s 5 years ahead or 30 years behind fashion.
    Alice Temperley - Fashion Designer
  • I have known Nick for some two decades; the cheeky chappy of our crazy world of night madness. He never seeks attention, but always seems to get his fair share.
    Jake Panayiotou - Club King
  • Nick’s had more career changes than I’ve sold jackets.
    Julian Dunkerton - Superdry Supremo
  • 'Hi... I'm on Nick Valentine's guest-list?' Over the years, whilst those around me queue and beg and blag without much effect, I've used that line literally dozens of times and it never fails to be a guaranteed rope-lifter. Good guy. Good times. Good on him, I say.
    Simon Mills - Style Writer/Social Commentator
  • My friend Nick always has a smile to welcome you into his parties. That makes all the difference from having a good time to not. That’s a good front man.
    Richard Young - Photographer Extraordinaire 

The Excerpt

My granddad once had a nervous breakdown and ended up in Shenley Psychiatric Hospital which was once discourteously known as a ‘colony for mental defectives.’ On my first trip to see him he kept telling me to ‘hang in there.’ The doctor told me later that my grandfather thinks I’m the patient and he’s the visitor.

Not a minute’s sleep last night, so I’m in Bar Italia in Soho sipping my third double espresso, desperately trying to survive the day. I’m taking a slash every two minutes and my internal organs won’t stop arguing. It’s called ‘a gram of regret’ for good reason. Unfortunately, I cannot really see myself having an early night tonight as I can’t bear to miss out on anything. London’s the most amazing city on planet earth and I’m smack bang in the heart of it, though this morning I think I exited through its arse.

Read more...

The Reviews

This book has 1 review with an average rating of 4 stars.

an interesting style, profound sentences, historical and legend autobiography piece to read!

The Author

Nick Valentine has been in more bands that he can remember, slept on more couches than he cares to admit and starred in a film he co-wrote and got terrible reviews for … playing himself. He’s been a film technician, trainee surveyor, paste-up artist, DJ and once had a record deal. He was Music and Nightlife Editor for London Alternative Magazine, spent five years at Time Out London & co-founded the Entertainment News press agency, and three London nightclubs, including the private members club The Cuckoo Club. His biggest challenge to date however, has been trying to recall the past 35 years of partying so as to write Clubs, Drugs and Canapés.

The Rewards

This book is now published. You can still pledge, but you won't get listed as a supporter in the back.

£5
Digital
  • e-book edition, access to the author's shed and your name in the back of the book
£10
Paperback original
  • 1st edition paperback original
  • e-book edition, access to the author's shed and your name in the back of the book
£30
Signed
  • Signed 1st edition paperback
  • e-book edition, access to the author's shed and your name in the back of the book
Sold out
£120
Best Launch Party in London
  • Invite to the best book launch party in London
  • Signed, 1st edition paperback
  • e-book edition, access to the author's shed and your name in the back of the book
Sold out
£1,000
A NIght To Try and Remember
  • Everything up to party level, plus a Club Crawl with Nick in London
Sold out
£250
Dinner With Nick
  • Everything up to party level, plus dinner with Nick Valentine in London
Sold out
  • Format: Paper Back
  • ISBN: 978-1-78352-012-1
  • Published: 10/2013